Cream Teas & Chaos: My Campervan Chronicles Through Cornwall

John Nickolls
May 25
3 min read

"Cream Teas & Chaos: My Campervan Chronicles Through Cornwall" By John – Drone Pilot, Seagull Target, Cyder Taster Extraordinaire

They said it couldn’t be done. They said you couldn’t see all of Cornwall in a few days without losing your marbles, your GPS signal, and at least one meal to a rogue bird. But I, John of John's Drones, proved them wrong. Well… sort of. I definitely lost a pasty.

🚐 Night 1: Tintagel – King Arthur, Meet Vanilla

First stop: Tintagel. Home of legendary kings, dramatic cliffs, and about a billion steps. Seriously, it’s like they built the castle with a Fitbit sponsorship in mind.

Vanilla (my T6.1 campervan and spiritual sidekick) was parked up, and I took in the sights – epic coastline, castle ruins, and a group of teenagers loudly vaping on history. I launched the drone from a quiet clifftop and nearly gave a rambler a heart attack. Apparently, not everyone enjoys the buzz of a DJI Mavic 2 Pro rising from the bracken like a techy hawk.

🏰 Day 2: Boscastle, Port Isaac & an Epic Beach Sleepover

First up: Boscastle, where the harbour is picturesque and every single building is either a café or a place that sells homemade jam with slightly passive-aggressive labels.

Then over to Port Isaac, AKA the filming location for Doc Martin, where the roads are so tight I’m fairly sure Vanilla now has PTSD. Parked in what may have been a resident’s herb garden (jury’s still out), and wandered the narrow alleys while dodging tourists pretending to be on telly.

Night 2 was a dreamy stop at Godrevy Beach – where the waves crash, the views stun, and the loos smell like every surfer forgot what aim is. I fell asleep to the sound of the sea and woke up to a golden sunrise and two surfers arguing about wax. Bliss.

🍏 Day 3: Cyder, Cliffs, and Curses at Land’s End

Started the day at Healeys Cyder Farm, AKA heaven in tractor form. Sampled enough free tasters to start Googling “is slight dizziness normal after elderflower-infused scrumpy?” Left with a boot full of booze and a very sticky camera bag.

Then it was on to the mighty Land’s End – which, fun fact, now charges more for a photo with the famous signpost than a small car. I declined. My iPhone got the shot instead, while I dodged hyperactive children and dogs wearing Cornish flags like superhero capes.

Parked up and slept there for the night. Might’ve been the wind, might’ve been the cider, but I dreamt of talking seagulls and pasties that scream when bitten.

🏰 Day 4: Mounts, Mevagissey & Looe Livin’

Onwards to St Michael’s Mount – Cornwall’s version of Hogwarts, only with better fudge and fewer dementors. Parked on the street to take some photos and got somre funny looks.

Then it was over to Mevagissey Harbour, where you can’t move for seagulls, seafood, and people loudly saying “ooh I could live here” even though their idea of coastal living is a picture of a lighthouse in the downstairs loo.

Final overnight stop was in Looe – a place that sounds like a toilet but looks like a postcard. Quaint, charming, and filled with more fish 'n' chip shops than you can shake a battered sausage at.

🛣️ Day 5: Back to Blighty (Stafford, That Is)

On Saturday, Vanilla and I pointed ourselves north and made the long journey back home. The weather turned, the roads got straighter, and the pasties… well, they were just memories. Greasy, glorious memories.

🎬 Final Thoughts: Cornwall – You Mad, Beautiful Duchess

Cornwall, you gave me sunsets, cyder, drone footage worthy of a Coldplay music video, and a rogue seagull that owes me a flake. Your roads are mad, your people are lovely, and your coastlines deserve a standing ovation.

Until next time,JohnA bloke in a van with a drone and too much clotted cream in his bloodstream.

📍 Catch the chaos at johnsdrones.net📸 Or see the trip in full HD seagull-dodging glory on my YouTube: “John’s Drones”

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